At least it feels way too familiar to be arranging another small body’s internment. The precious part of Esmeralda is hearing right now all about why she was born; directly from her maker’s mouth. But the little body left behind needs to be taken care of in a manner befitting the dignity of its eternal resident’s status as a child of God. The children we have buried over the last few years all came with a less than complete set of papers. They would not have been with us if all had been perfect for them and their poor families. So every one is a little different, and a little complicated, and needs a different manner of handling the paperwork at the hospital, the morgue, the municipality, and the Cemetery, where the people in charge do not like out of the ordinary processing.
In poor little Esmeralda’s case, her mother’s absence was a problem while she lived, and then after she died. We literally only have the judge’s order that placed her in our home as official paperwork. We had been asking for a clarification of her birth certificate since she arrived at our home. It never arrived. So, as far as some of the paperwork is concerned, she will be filed away as “Feminino X X” and with part of it, “Esmeralda, approximately 4 months old, with possible last name of Tomin Guarac”. So we were grateful for the help provided by our funeral director. It was sadly ironic that he had lost his one year old daughter last week, and we buried Esmeralda not far from her.
On the flower box on her burial niche it says “Esmeralda Our jewel is now an angel"
2/05/2008
2/03/2008
We are glad and sad to be here
The call came from the Children’s Court, asking if we had room for a 7 month old baby. She was a little malnourished, they thought. Her mother had died in childbirth, and the father was an alcoholic. She arrived listless and VERY tiny. 6 pounds. So glad someone made the decision to intervene. We are feeding her with a dropper every 15 minutes, and after 4 days, her color is improving, and she is perceptibly fleshing out. Please pray with us for little Alicia.
2/02/2008
Gladys
Early in the morning the bell rang. Sure enough, the police were bringing the little girl the Justice of the Peace had called us about almost 12 hours before. The JP had asked if we could take her, because abuse had caused enough wounds that she needed medical attention. They weren’t exaggerating. Apparently they decided to take her to the hospital before bringing her to us, and so she arrived at 5 AM. I guess she was up all night. Even being rescued is an ordeal for poor children.
Clothed in a sweater and long pants, she looked like many another child walking around on the streets of Guatemala. . But under the dirty clothes, were stitches covered by a bandage on her leg, and she arrived with prescriptions for pain and infections due to the burns on her arm and chest. Head to toe, she has old scars and recent injuries.
All day, as we interacted with her, whether feeding, or bathing, or simply speaking with her, the pain was clear. A vacant smile, quick attentiveness, and worried pause before answering questions … all indicative of abuse. All day, our presence was followed by wide eyes. It seems like she is evaluating each adult as we draw near. She is trying to take in the foreign environment where children were playing, and laughing, and rambunctious…and adults hugged, and fed and helped instead of hurt.
Each time we asked who did this, she answered “mi mama…es porque…” giving a reason for each burn or bruise. At the
end of the day, she declared to the girls in her bedroom that she never wanted to leave us. So many mixed emotions swirl in all of us as we care for her external and internal wounds. Hearts welling with love for this timid child, and broken by the pain recorded on her little body. Outrage. Glad she is with us. Pity. More anger as each new sense of the pain she has endured surfaces. It is good that our job is not to judge, or even understand what agonies were in a mother to make her do this. Like Shyrel said to Nicolasa, the caretaker who finally succumbed to a flood of tears as she rebandaged this little girl: “This is why we are here”
So, off to the Dr. and more prescriptions, and further exams. But the hope for her well being lies in more than what modern medicine can bring. So please pray for Gladys. And please pray for us. Your prayers and God’s Grace are the remedy.
Clothed in a sweater and long pants, she looked like many another child walking around on the streets of Guatemala. . But under the dirty clothes, were stitches covered by a bandage on her leg, and she arrived with prescriptions for pain and infections due to the burns on her arm and chest. Head to toe, she has old scars and recent injuries.All day, as we interacted with her, whether feeding, or bathing, or simply speaking with her, the pain was clear. A vacant smile, quick attentiveness, and worried pause before answering questions … all indicative of abuse. All day, our presence was followed by wide eyes. It seems like she is evaluating each adult as we draw near. She is trying to take in the foreign environment where children were playing, and laughing, and rambunctious…and adults hugged, and fed and helped instead of hurt.
Each time we asked who did this, she answered “mi mama…es porque…” giving a reason for each burn or bruise. At the
end of the day, she declared to the girls in her bedroom that she never wanted to leave us. So many mixed emotions swirl in all of us as we care for her external and internal wounds. Hearts welling with love for this timid child, and broken by the pain recorded on her little body. Outrage. Glad she is with us. Pity. More anger as each new sense of the pain she has endured surfaces. It is good that our job is not to judge, or even understand what agonies were in a mother to make her do this. Like Shyrel said to Nicolasa, the caretaker who finally succumbed to a flood of tears as she rebandaged this little girl: “This is why we are here”So, off to the Dr. and more prescriptions, and further exams. But the hope for her well being lies in more than what modern medicine can bring. So please pray for Gladys. And please pray for us. Your prayers and God’s Grace are the remedy.
2/01/2008
Feliz Año Nuevo
Sorry for the long ramble free time. Perhaps it coincided with your being busy enough through the holidays to not miss news from down here. I have no excuse…but maybe a [rambling?] speculation that many of the pressing issues in our life in December and then into January had in part to do with legal issues, and in-process cases. Knowing what to ramble about, and what to keep quiet about has never been my forte, and so I self edited … completely! We are out of imminent attacks and dangers to ourselves as far as we know, and our judicial actions will probably go painfully slow. The children who are in our care who have legal issues remain “in process” for the most part…and so it goes.
BUT I do have one good ending to report! A little boy came to us who had been in the final stages of his adoption to a young American couple. He became sick, and either his lawyer or his caretakers made the bonehead decision to take him to the national hospital, where there had recently been an uproar about children and adoptions. So the spooked social workers mandated him to the Children’s court judge, precipitating his arrival at our home for temporary care. This also took him completely off the radar of the poor prospective parents. We are told nothing about the situation of the children who come to us, and didn’t know what had happened until the adoptive parents finally were told where their child was. It all wrapped up in the first hearing, when the judge could plainly see all was on the up and up, and gave the child to his parents. We will always feel attached to him, and are happy he will be with this family!
BUT I do have one good ending to report! A little boy came to us who had been in the final stages of his adoption to a young American couple. He became sick, and either his lawyer or his caretakers made the bonehead decision to take him to the national hospital, where there had recently been an uproar about children and adoptions. So the spooked social workers mandated him to the Children’s court judge, precipitating his arrival at our home for temporary care. This also took him completely off the radar of the poor prospective parents. We are told nothing about the situation of the children who come to us, and didn’t know what had happened until the adoptive parents finally were told where their child was. It all wrapped up in the first hearing, when the judge could plainly see all was on the up and up, and gave the child to his parents. We will always feel attached to him, and are happy he will be with this family!
12/19/2007
Adoption Snapshots
The BBC has a number of reports on Guatemalan adoptions.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7144610.stm
There are a total of 6 stories, and the others are listed on the right side of the page. One is pictures of a beautiful home where the children stay as they wait to finish the adoption process. We have met the women in the stories and a couple have been to our house looking for their babies. These stories are their own words, and pretty insightful. It is not a cut and dry situation, and the anecdotes do not mean that the majority of adoptions in Guatemala involved rape attacks and stolen babies.
The woman who is positive about her birth mother experience is so typical: it has been said that 60% of the children in Guatemala are living without their father. And I was touched by her comment that she does not live with a man, just her children. That also is too common: In a culture where Machismo is axiomatic, a woman must choose between her children and a new man...who would most likely reject the idea of supporting another man's children. But of all the birth mothers who might have provided a positive experience, why did they use her? She works facilitating adoptions. I keep saying that no one in Guatemala feel good about adoptions except those who make money from them. I wish the BBC had been able to prove me wrong...I wonder if they tried, and reverted to her, or if they just asked a lawyer to provide a birth mother with a positive story, and the lawyer went with someone they could be sure of. If they had asked us, we could have provided a few women who have the same sad sense but know they did the right thing in giving a child for adoption. But these women gave up their child in a setting that did not involve the lawyer who seems to have been this story's contact.
These stories put human faces and words on the statistics. The story of the 16 year old girl has an all too common element. If the birth mothers have doubts and express a desire to keep their baby, we have heard again and again that they were told they or the father would go to jail, because they would have to pay back the care they received.
This young girl’s story is actually related to the story that has the pictures of the beautiful “home” Primavera. It is the owner of that home that this girl accuses of the coercive threats. The juxtaposition of the beautiful setting of the children waiting adoptions, and the sad story of coercion from the birth mother’s point of view is a very good snapshot of the dichotomy.
The pictures of the Casa Primavera are really nice, and there is no doubt these children are well cared for. As is stated in the side bar, the prospective adoptive American couples are paying approximately $600 a month per child for the care there. The inference is that once the adoptions for profit stop, there will be no homes as adequate to care for children.
I beg to differ. The installations are very similar to our home, and we are planning a new facility to begin building next year. ALL with charitable donations. I believe Americans are gracious enough to help us care for the children as well as they are cared for in the Adoption homes. I also believe that a coalition of American and Guatemalan churches and civic groups like the Rotary will help to alleviate many of the underlying social problems that cause children to be at risk. That is something I have not heard of the adoption homes doing.
The dire predictions of the anti regulation crowd are in part correct: there will be children at risk needing immediate intervention here in Guatemala.
That is why we are here.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7144610.stm
There are a total of 6 stories, and the others are listed on the right side of the page. One is pictures of a beautiful home where the children stay as they wait to finish the adoption process. We have met the women in the stories and a couple have been to our house looking for their babies. These stories are their own words, and pretty insightful. It is not a cut and dry situation, and the anecdotes do not mean that the majority of adoptions in Guatemala involved rape attacks and stolen babies.
The woman who is positive about her birth mother experience is so typical: it has been said that 60% of the children in Guatemala are living without their father. And I was touched by her comment that she does not live with a man, just her children. That also is too common: In a culture where Machismo is axiomatic, a woman must choose between her children and a new man...who would most likely reject the idea of supporting another man's children. But of all the birth mothers who might have provided a positive experience, why did they use her? She works facilitating adoptions. I keep saying that no one in Guatemala feel good about adoptions except those who make money from them. I wish the BBC had been able to prove me wrong...I wonder if they tried, and reverted to her, or if they just asked a lawyer to provide a birth mother with a positive story, and the lawyer went with someone they could be sure of. If they had asked us, we could have provided a few women who have the same sad sense but know they did the right thing in giving a child for adoption. But these women gave up their child in a setting that did not involve the lawyer who seems to have been this story's contact.
These stories put human faces and words on the statistics. The story of the 16 year old girl has an all too common element. If the birth mothers have doubts and express a desire to keep their baby, we have heard again and again that they were told they or the father would go to jail, because they would have to pay back the care they received.
This young girl’s story is actually related to the story that has the pictures of the beautiful “home” Primavera. It is the owner of that home that this girl accuses of the coercive threats. The juxtaposition of the beautiful setting of the children waiting adoptions, and the sad story of coercion from the birth mother’s point of view is a very good snapshot of the dichotomy.
The pictures of the Casa Primavera are really nice, and there is no doubt these children are well cared for. As is stated in the side bar, the prospective adoptive American couples are paying approximately $600 a month per child for the care there. The inference is that once the adoptions for profit stop, there will be no homes as adequate to care for children.
I beg to differ. The installations are very similar to our home, and we are planning a new facility to begin building next year. ALL with charitable donations. I believe Americans are gracious enough to help us care for the children as well as they are cared for in the Adoption homes. I also believe that a coalition of American and Guatemalan churches and civic groups like the Rotary will help to alleviate many of the underlying social problems that cause children to be at risk. That is something I have not heard of the adoption homes doing.
The dire predictions of the anti regulation crowd are in part correct: there will be children at risk needing immediate intervention here in Guatemala.
That is why we are here.
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